To Love. To Risk. To Stay.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.”

I got my heart broken for the first time in 6th grade. Not by a boy. But by two girls whom I considered as my best friends.

Until today, I honestly couldn’t remember if I did anything wrong. There wasn’t even a fight. They just decided that on one morning, the two of them would be better off without me. Funnily enough, we made up by the end of the day, friendship was mended, and nobody could notice that anything was amiss.

But it doesn’t change the fact that in that day… I felt betrayed by the people I trusted the most, and the scars stayed for a pretty long time. And as I grew up, the pattern continued: people came and went, and friendships were forged and dissolved.

For years, I lived believing that love (whether it is in a romantic sense or not), is nothing more than romanticized ideals. It was a cold and lonely place, yes. But it’s better than to risk being hurt… right?

Because to love, to connect with people, and to form friendships… you have to put yourself at risk.

The risk, of being able to feel…
To feel warmth, along with the possibility of getting burned.
To feel acceptance, yet with the danger of getting hurt.
And to feel hope, along with uncertainties.

But you know, I’ve beginning to think that it might be worth it.

I’m not very good at romantic things. But I know this much:

To love, is to understand that there will be uncertainties – and yet it’s the decision of choosing to hold unto faith.

Because then, there might be a those, who decided to stay.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” -C. S. Lewis

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29 thoughts on “To Love. To Risk. To Stay.”

    1. Thankss! 😀 Yeah, this quote struck me a few years ago, when I was starting a relationship… and it stayed with me until today. Sometimes, to be vulnerable and to be hurt, just enabled us to appreciate the ones who stayed with us a little better. I’ve read your entry, and I hope that this would encourage you to take another chance at love. 🙂

  1. I liked your C.S. Lewis quote. Supported your story very well!
    Scars and wounds are experiences, and what we take from those experiences determines how we love, who we choose to live, and strive to be. Keep it up!

    “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” ~Thomas Merton~

    1. Thanks for sharing 🙂 I agree with that. And to add to that, I think that in the process of loving someone, we learn more about ourselves, and learn to love ourselves (because I think, there are many of us, who at some point, have hated themselves).

      1. Indeed, we may not always intentionally create reflections of ourselves in others, but we certainly see them. And others’ weaknesses remind us of our own – which breeds self-hate; but their strengths can either inspire or intimidate, depending on perception.

  2. So very true. I’ve mulled over this question of love many times over the years, and like you, decided it wasn’t worth the risk for a time. Finally in recent years, I’ve begun to start to take the chance anyways. It’s still a long process, but I do think that it’s better than the alternative.

    1. Yeah it’s true. But sometimes (for better or worst), some people gave up midway… and left. And I think that’s why, while the process itself is important, love is those people who choose to stay – despite knowing all the good/bad sides of another.

    1. Yeah, it is 🙂
      And not just romantic love… I think to be able to have the chance to love the people around us and to love what we do.. is indeed something that we should always be thankful for hehe 😀

  3. Crying alone is better than crying in someones memories I would say. but then again if you dont risk it you cant have those memories. cause they are beautifull, knowing that someone cared for you. It hurts to say goodbye to something/someone you love, but if you dont put your heart on the line and risk it being broken you can’t have those memories to cherish. and I know how it feels when your bestfriends leaves you, i’ve been in that position. I like you writing very much.

    Here’s something I think is like what you have written in this post

    https://readfantasy.wordpress.com/2014/12/13/tell-nothing-about-someone-to-anyone/

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Well… I agree with you when you wrote that “crying in a little room alone is better than crying in a room full of people and seeing they don’t care”. But, yeah, I would say that crying in memories, is better than being alone, and never have the chance for memories.

      However, while holding unto memories is important, I think that it’s equally important to come to terms with its bittersweet-ness, and move on. Moving on doesn’t necessarily means forgetting, of course. But I believe, the process of treasuring past’ sweetness while opening your heart and giving another chance to experience another adventure … is what eventually leads us to discover what To Stay means. //At least, that’s what I’m hoping for.

      1. I agree with what you said. we should keep our past memories and experience with us and move on, move on to the next big thing in our life. 🙂

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