“To love at all is to be vulnerable.”
I got my heart broken for the first time in 6th grade. Not by a boy. But by two girls whom I considered as my best friends.
Until today, I honestly couldn’t remember if I did anything wrong. There wasn’t even a fight. They just decided that on one morning, the two of them would be better off without me. Funnily enough, we made up by the end of the day, friendship was mended, and nobody could notice that anything was amiss.
But it doesn’t change the fact that in that day… I felt betrayed by the people I trusted the most, and the scars stayed for a pretty long time. And as I grew up, the pattern continued: people came and went, and friendships were forged and dissolved.
For years, I lived believing that love (whether it is in a romantic sense or not), is nothing more than romanticized ideals. It was a cold and lonely place, yes. But it’s better than to risk being hurt… right?
Because to love, to connect with people, and to form friendships… you have to put yourself at risk.
The risk, of being able to feel…
To feel warmth, along with the possibility of getting burned.
To feel acceptance, yet with the danger of getting hurt.
And to feel hope, along with uncertainties.
But you know, I’ve beginning to think that it might be worth it.
I’m not very good at romantic things. But I know this much:
To love, is to understand that there will be uncertainties – and yet it’s the decision of choosing to hold unto faith.
Because then, there might be a those, who decided to stay.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” -C. S. Lewis