If you could go back and rewrite your history, would you take it? And would you let others take it?
vienna noreen asked me to write about Second Chances… which I think is an interesting topic to write on, because simply there are no clear “right” or “wrong” answers. Every case is different, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and we all have our own preferences.
But I think in most cases, it’s divided into 3 categories. Personal injuries, wrong doings in a professional setting, and severe, law breaking cases.
For much of my life: I live by a simple conviction, “do to others, as you would have them do to you.”
And that’s why, I think that it’s important to Always Forgive, but Never Forget. Forgiveness is something that I will always hope I have the privilege of receiving. I would never want a person to hold a grudge on me. Just like everyone else on this planet, I often make mistakes as I’m figuring out my life. So what right do I have to hold a grudge against another?
But more importantly, forgiveness is always a choice. It’s less to do with the person in question, than a personal decision to free ourselves from the hurt. So always, always forgive.
And yet, while we do so, it’s foolish to totally forget about it, because at the same time, we should always be cautious and make smart decisions. When someone has hurt you once, they might do it again. And staying in the vulnerable state of letting that person abuse your trust over and over might not be the best idea. Depending on the circumstances, we decide move on, or let that person back in – but we can only make that decision, when we remember our facts right.
Many times, we wanted to write history. Or at least leave everything behind and start over. A second chance, in a place where nobody knows your name or care about who you were. And I think, in most cases… yes, it’s always possible.
Wrongdoings in Professional Settings
What I mean by a professional case, is any work related cases. Frankly, I have a pretty low tolerance on people unable to deliver a promise in work scenarios. Honestly, I’m still working on being more flexible and more understanding. It’s a long process, but hopefully I’m getting there.
But generally, when a vendor / supplier / teammate said that they can get that job done, I expect them done. (Unless there are really bizarre force majeure circumstances that get in the way). I’m pretty chill and tolerant in most non-work related things… But I expect that people respect the responsibilities that are given to them.
When such promise is not delivered, I would be really less inclined to give them a second chance. Because honestly, the logical ways is just simply find another vendor or another company who can get the job better, right?
Nevertheless, like I said earlier. I’m learning patience and am in the process of building my tolerance level. In community oriented countries like Indonesia where people prefer to engage dialogues, play politics, and be flexible about things… I know I can’t always see things in black and white. Maybe one day I’ll be able to play my cards in a more fluid way. Hmm…
Severe, law breaking cases
I briefly touched about this topic on my post on Harsh Laws. And this is where it’s the hardest to answer the question on do you believe in second chances.
As we live in a governmental world, we submit ourselves to laws and orders. And despite of all its controversies between ethics and laws, the law is there to protect the people en masse. And those who dared to cross it in the first place, should always be prepared for the consequences.
Do we punish homicidal murders with capital punishment or give them second chance? How about terrorist who seemed to be have repented? How about drug dealers? Regardless how much we debated on things like this… the line will never be clear. In cases like this, the simplest way to think is that to understand that we don’t get to have an opinion.
We have all the time to decide whether we should cross the line of the law or not. We always have the choice to be a rule follower and respect the boundaries, or to disregard and pretend that we are above them.
But once we do decide, and when the law has caught us… I believe that is when we submit ourselves (willingly or not) to the justice system… and let it answer for us, do a second chance exist for such cases.
For me, a second chance is the ultimate evidence of grace that is bestowed on humanity. It doesn’t have to be loud, heroic or glorious.
But it’s like the sky: often taken for granted, and yet it’s a constant that we all experience, every single day. And to me, it symbolizes the certainty that there is a new day, and a chance to do a new adventure (or sometimes misadventures), make new memories, and find a new reason to smile. 🙂
Do you believe in second chances?
//Quick update: I know I haven’t been writing for a while. Nothing dramatic happened or anything. I just got caught up in lots of work. And then once that subsides… I kind of lost the momentum to write. Any free moments, I busied myself with doing lots of quiet me time: making pottery, swimming, cooking simple dishes, practicing piano, and reading fictions. Haha. Simple things that really refreshed me.
And although I do miss WordPress, it’s hard to get back to the swing of writings. (I hope that you guys didn’t forget about me yet!) It’s not until Vienna wrote about this topic in the prompt section, which kicked my thoughts back into its (rather dusty) writing gear. So thanks for that! Hehe. Hopefully… I’ll be back posting more regularly. 🙂 🙂